A Game Of Love
by BBJello
Summary: Romance isnt dead........ its just not very well!........Sometimes love just isnt cut and dry.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin 

Tears freely flowed down my cold cheeks as I sat there on the porch right outside my bedroom. I looked up at the full moon as it smiled down on me, it was truly beautiful as illuminated the dark endless night. I choked back a sob and placed my hand over my mouth so I didn't wake anyone with my cries. It was cold out tonight and my tears warmed my cheeks lightly, but they didn't stay warm for long. 

I struggled in catching my breath as I wiped away the tears and tried to take a deep breath to calm my shuddering body down. The night was icy cold and it hurt to breathe so deeply that I covered my face with my kimono sleeves and cried hard into the warm material. It muffled my deep agonised sobs, but the more I cried, the more I thought about why I was crying in the first place. 

Flashback

"Miss Megumi, Sanosuke, Yahiko, I'm so happy you could make it" I beamed the biggest smile I could as I saw my friends step into the room. 

"We wouldn't miss this for the world" Megumi smiled back and we enveloped into a hug. 

"Kaoru where's Kenshin?" Yahiko asked me and I pointed to the kitchen.

"Creating the most delicious looking buffet, please come, everybody else is in the main hall" I giggled as I lead them to were I knew the rest of our friends where happily drinking and chatting the night away. 

"There are drinks on the table over to the left, please help yourself" I grinned and watched Yahiko run over to where Tsubame was giggling to Misao. 

"Sano, please excuse me, id like to have a word with Kaoru" Megumi smiled up at her husband of one year.

"Megumi?" I asked as Sano left and Megumi shut the shutter and turned to me with a serious look. 

"Kaoru, you missed your last appointment, is everything alright?" I sighed, I already knew this, I had purposely missed it.

"I'm sorry, I totally forgot all about it, I'll be sure to carry on with it next month" I lied and blushed as she raised an eyebrow. 

"Are you and Kenshin sleeping with each other?" she blatantly asked.

"Err…no no, of course not, were taking things slow" my face must have been beetroot red.

"Slow? Kaoru you have been a couple now for 5 months, I was sure you only agreed to have the injections because you were sleeping together" Megumi crossed her arms over her chest as though we were both back in her clinic.

"Well, yes I did but it hasn't happened yet, we still sleep in separate bedrooms, I don't want to rush him, not after what he went through with his past wife" I sighed feeling the familiar pain in my chest I got when I thought of Kenshin and his wife he never divorced. 

"I'm glad your being wise about it and taking precautions, but if you ever need someone to talk to, you know I'm here, I'm not only your doctor, I'm your friend" Megumi pressed a comforting hand on my shoulder and I fought the sob that was dying to escape. 

"Thank you, how are you and Sano?" I asked quickly changing the subject and she shook her head as she giggled.

"Managing" she placed two fingers to her temple and sighed.

"But he's maturing, I can assure you by the end of the year he will be a new man" and we both laughed walking into the main hall were everyone was tucking into the food Kenshin had only moments ago set out. I smiled shyly at him and he walked over as soon as he spotted me.

"Kaoru is everything alright?" he asked as he took my hand discreetly. 

"Everything is fine Kenshin" I felt him tug me closer and a blush crept across my cheeks at the thought of him kissing me in front of all these people. 

"Follow me" he whispered to me and I glanced to where Megumi was smiling at me, she got the message and tootled off to Sano.

"Kenshin?" I asked nervously as he tugged me out of the main hall and into the kitchen. 

"I wanted us to have a moment alone before the party starts, please, share a drink with me" I noticed his hands shake as he handed me a glass of sake. He raised his sake in a sign for me to tap mine against his in celebration of the upcoming New Year. 

"Ken-"the words died on my lips as I stared into the sake glass he gave me, but my eyes seemed to have frozen over as I stared. Kenshin didn't speak; I guess he was waiting for my reaction. 

"Kenshin" I breathed pulling the small ring that he had placed inside the sake. 

"Marry me Kaoru" was all he said and I jumped in shock, I hadn't fully understood what the ring meant, but he had confirmed it with what he last said. 

"But Kens-"my eyes wide from shock I stared at the ring.

"Kaoru, marry me" he prevented me from saying the obvious.

"I will" I felt as though with just one look from him I was being hypnotized. And as soon as I uttered them few words his lips crashed against mine and I felt his desperate need for love cover me like a blanket. But even as I closed my eyes and leaned further into his soft kisses, I couldn't help but think of what had tormented my mind right from the start of this relationship…… 'He's already married'. 

Flashback to be continued

**Please Review! **

**P.S. Kenshin and Kaoru are throwing a New Years Eve party. Any more questions I will try my best to answer. Thank you.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin**

**I'm trying to make this story seem very confusing, so that I can surprise you with the answers later on. So please bear with me on the chapters so far. I'll try and make this less confusing by adding a few chapters as soon as I can. **

Flashback Continued

"Kaoru is everything alright?" Misao ran up to me as myself and Kenshin entered the main hall, this of course brought everyone's attention.

"Shes more than alright Misao, that she is" I choked out a laugh as I wiped a joyous tear away.

"Kaoru?" Megumi spoke out in question to my current emotional state.

"We have something very important to share with you all" Kenshin decided for himself to get the ball rolling seeing as Kaoru was too shook up to bring out the words.

"And that would be?" Aoshi muttered impatiently.

"Were getting married, that we are" and I felt his arm pull me to him tighter and I looked out at everyone's shocked and excited faces. Surprisingly Tsubame was the first to speak.

"Congratulations Miss Kaoru, Sir Ken" and everyone gathered closer asking questions and complimenting on the beautiful ring Kenshin had bought her.

"Well are we going to have a party or what?" Yahiko belted out and turned on the small battered stereo in the corner of the hall. The hall filled with the latest Tokyo pop music and everyone began to dance as they drank there sake and became more confident in there acts. I smiled as Kenshin pulled me into a hug.

"I'm not dancing" he spoke seriously and I laughed at his frowning expression.

"There's no way" he grumbled and pulled me to him into a hug.

"Please may I be excused Kenshin" I gently pushed myself from his vice like grip and he looked down on me with concern.

"I need the ladies" I lied and quickly left the room heading for my bedroom. When I was safely hidden in the darkness of my room, I lit a small candle and examined the beautiful engagement ring I had been given. It was a small silver ring that fit snug on my slim fingers, with a tiny diamond that shimmered in the light of the candle. I giggled to myself, I had dreamed of this day for so long, all those years we had lived together in this house as landlady and guest. But our friendship blossomed as quickly as the snow began to tumble and stick to the ground outside. We stuck together through thick and thin, made promises, gave a shoulder to cry on which always ended up being Kenshins shoulder. Then I fell in love with him, he didn't even realise at the time how I felt for him as his mind and feelings were somewhere else, but I was young and I hadn't known what love could do to a person. I had changed so much over the past few years, having to deal with the rejection of his feelings, having to settle for the friendship he offered. Yet here I sat now overjoyed with the feeling of happiness, that Kenshin accepted me and wanted me. But then I thought of _her_, and what power she held over Kenshin. He couldn't marry me if she still held his heart legally. But I wouldn't give up, not after so long of wanting this, wanting him to want me. I couldn't let her have him when she was so selfish towards his feelings.

I clenched my fists in anger as I thought of what she may look like, what she may act like towards him when there together. It scared me to think that for some reason he was using me as a substitute.

"Kaoru?" I jumped when his voice invaded the room and I spun around to see the worry clear on his handsome face.

"Kenshin" I smiled and stood from where I sat on the soft futon.

"Everyone's asking for you" he walked to me and wrapped his arms around my waist jolting me slightly. I leant against him as he pulled me tighter.

"Happy new year" I kissed him lightly on the cheek and he chuckled, lifting his head and kissing me on the lips.

"I love you so much" he whispered into my ear and I was sure he was clinging onto me as though if he let go he would fall.

"And I you" I whispered back pulling him tighter to me.

"I'm sorry to interrupt you guys, but there's someone here to see you Kenshin" We both jumped apart as if we had just been caught doing something naughty. But I was sure if we had been left alone a little longer it may have developed into something naughty, and I didn't want to think of it happening in such a way, with a house full of guests waiting for us.

"Who is it?" he asked taking a step forward to Sano. As both men left I listened to them retreat down the corridor to the front gate. Not interested to who was at the door I suddenly got giddy and picked up my futon and ran to the other side of the house to where Kenshins room was located, and I snuck inside smiling as I smelled his gorgeous scent. I then carefully unravelled my futon right next to were Kenshins lay and stood up looking over the two beds as they lay perfectly together, just as me and Kenshin would lay tonight.

"Kaoru?" I heard Misao shout for me in the hallway and I quickly left Kenshins room just in time to see Misao turn the corner and face me.

"There you are, it seems we have a visitor" Misao spoke as she walked towards me and I suddenly became curious.

"It's a lady, but I don't know who it is, she said she needed to talk to Kenshin so there in the kitchen right now" Misao informed me and I nodded.

"Should I go and see who it is?" I asked unsure of what actions I should take.

"Of course, this is your house" she obviously too wanted to know who the visitor was so she took my arm and lead me down the hallway.

"Kaoru, can I have a word with you please, this is very important" Sano looked at Misao and she instantly dropped my arm and backed off.

"What?" I asked suddenly worried about why they were acting so strange, Sano looked out of breath as though he had been running.

"Come with me" he said and once again I was dragged down the hallway as he took my arm.

"Sano please, explain yourself" I pleaded.

"In here" he muttered as he opened a door and pulled me inside where I saw Megumi, looking worried, which instantly made me worried.

"What's going on?" I whispered with wide eyes, looking at Megumi, then Sano, then back to Megumi.

"We need you to calm down first Kaoru" Megumi spoke softly, back in the doctor mode.

"I am calm" I lied as I took a deep breath, which did nothing for my nerves. And it didn't help when I caught Megumi glance a nervous look towards Sano.

"Kenshins wife has arrived"

Flashback still to be continued

**Please Review!**

**Thank you to:-**

**Puma Padfoot – My first reviewer. This chapter might answer your question a little as to why Kaoru is really crying, but I can definatly tell you she's not crying because of the first chapter. The first couple of chapters are going to be the flashback, and then it will continue with the story as normal, were there will be lots of shocks and surprises. Hope I answered your question and you like the new chapter :) **


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin**

"Wh-What?" my body began to shake and I grabbed out for something to hold onto something, Sano reached out to steady me.

"Shes here and she's talking with Kenshin" Megumi looked ever so calm as she spoke and I looked at her in disbelief.

"I want to meet her" I said a little too loudly.

"That would not be wise Missy" Sano muttered as he let go of my arms and shoved his hands deep into his pant pockets.

"And what would be wise Sano?" I growled suddenly feeling very angry, this was my house and I felt like such an outsider.

"To not jump into situations you do fully not understand" he turned his back on me as though I was a five year old. The tears that quickly formed blurred my focus and I turned and left the room quickly.

"Then I will just have to find that out what the hells going on" I spat out as I slammed the door behind me, I quickened my pace as I heard Megumi trip as she stumbled after me.

"Kaoru please" I heard her faint plea but I had the kitchen door in my sights, and just as my hand rose to open it, I heard her voice.

"Come home" she pleaded and I sucked in a breath.

"Tomoe stop this" his voice soft and gentle.

"I miss you when you're gone" she didn't sound angry, there really wasn't any emotion in her voice.

"Tomoe please" he sighed, I bit my lip as it began to quiver.

"COME HOME!! NOW YOU FUCKING BASTARD!" I jumped back and gasped out when I heard her scream, then something smashed and my eyes grew wide in fear. 'Who the hell is this woman?' I backed off from the door a little, somewhat afraid to even go in there now.

"Would you like a drink?" he asked calmly as if nothing had happened. I could hear a little movement.

"This is pretty" she giggled and I just wish I could see through walls.

"Tomoe put that down, please" his voice baffled me, 'why is he so calm with her?'

"BASTARD, YOU FUCKING KILLED OUR BABY!" her voice once again startled me and I shook my head in confusion. 'He what?'

"TOMOE STOP IT!" he shouted back at her hurt clear in his voice. Then there was a deadly silence, I didn't dare move in case they heard me.

"I went shopping today, Nanny bought me this lovely top" and once again her voice was calm.

"It's very nice" his voice sounded very monotonous. I had had enough of listening to their freaky conversation, and I quickly left to find Sano and Megumi.

"What's going on?" I had wanted to sound more demanding, but it ended up being a shaky request.

"Shes a very ill woman Kaoru" Megumi informed, she was sat back down but with Sano sat close to her.

"Ill?" I asked my confusion doubling.

"Yes Kaoru, if you would sit I will explain everything to you" Megumi pointed to a cushion next to her and I seated myself in it slowly never taking my eyes off her.

"Im not only your doctor Kaoru, I'm Miss Tomoes as well, and what I'm about to tell you right now must never leave this room" she spoke, and without a word Sano left the room, he obviously knew what was about to be said.

"Ill explain from the start, but please, let me finish before you start asking questions" I nodded slowly.

"Ive been Tomoes doctor for 3 years now, the day you met Kenshin in my clinic, was the day I had been signed up to be Tomoe Himura" I listened intently and thought back to that day when I had bumped into him as I rushed into the waiting room as I was late for a check up.

"I don't know all the details, it's not my job to know a patients private life, but Tomoe had been in an accident not long after I was assigned as her doctor. She had been hit whilst walking home drunk one night, whilst heavily pregnant." Megumi paused to look at me but my eyes had found comfort in staring at the floor.

"At the hospital she was put in a coma to prevent over shock to her brain, which would have killed her, but this also damaged the brain" I couldn't say anything, I was too shocked to speak.

"Shes stuck in a time warp, she doesn't know where she is, at first it was like she was five years old again, she had no clue as to what things where. So Kenshin trusted me to make daily visits and check on her status at their home" I didn't even flinch when she said 'their home'.

"I don't know what you heard out there, but Tomoes personality has become more aggressive, she is constantly accusing Kenshin for the loss of their baby, and for some reason apart of him does feel responsible for it all, that is why he can never find it in himself to divorce Tomoe" Megumi sighed and took my hand.

"Kenshin needs you so much right now" she squeezed it lightly.

"I knew about his wife, I knew he never divorced her, but I never knew why" I breathed.

"Kenshin doesn't feel like he is married to her, the love he once had for her is now lost. As sad as it may seem, Kenshin feels more like her carer than her husband."

"How can I marry him now? I didn't want it to be like this, I feel as though I have stolen him, he belongs to her" I asked in desperate need of advice, my mind hurt from taking everything in and I just needed someone to tell me what I should do next.

"You have done no such thing Kaoru-"I didn't get to hear what Megumi had wanted to finish saying because the door opened to reveal Sano and Aoshi.

"Sano?" Megumi growled anger evident in her expression for being interrupted.

"We will be leaving now, Tsubame and Misao have been given there rooms" Sano nodded and quickly closed the door before I even had a chance to ask what was going on.

"Where are they going?" I asked, there were enough rooms vacant, so why were they leaving.

"With Tomoes distressed state tonight, she cannot be left alone, so we have decided it would be best if Tomoe stayed at our house tonight, just for tonight" I didn't see a problem with that, until I cued onto the last part 'just for tonight'.

"Kenshin will be staying with her?" I asked quietly.

"Just for tonight" Megumi promised, and I rose slowly.

"Goodnight" I didn't even wait for a reply, not wanting to reveal the heavy tears that had escaped, I left the room and headed to Kenshins room taking the long way round the house so I didn't pass the kitchen. I went to collect my futon that I had laid next to Kenshins, and as I left his room, I left the small engagement ring on the pillow of his futon.

END OF FLASHBACK

**Please Review!**

**I know it may all seem rushed, but I want to get things clear before I start moving on with the plot of the story. **

**Thank you – **

**Puma Padfoot – Yep shes alive. No the story is still in process but I have a few chapters I have completed but are undergoing changes. **

**Gabyhyatt**** – ****Youll**** find out : )**

**BK – Nope Tomoe is not dead, don't be thinking this is a story that follows off the OVA series, its not. I can't stand Tomoe either, K/K belong together end of, but this story is going to show some deep emotions come from all parties. **

**Hope all questions where answered, and please don't flame the spelling mistakes, I'm dyslexic, but I've downloaded word 07 which helps me greatly. Anyone interested in being a beta reader for this story, please don't hesitate to email me. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin**

**This chapter will be written in Kenshins point of view.**

"Kaoru" I breathed as I sat in the spare room of Megumi and Sanos house. It was freezing outside and just as bloody cold inside an all, it felt as though the icy winds were billowing around the room. I leant against the frame of the fireplace and stared into roaring flames.

"Kenshin" I turned to see Sano entering the room with Aoshi following behind.

"Thank you for all of this Sano" I sighed as I turned to face them, but I couldn't look them in the face, I wasn't man enough.

"It's no problem at all Kenshin, what concerns me most is how you're going to deal with all of this, how Kaoru will deal with it all" Sano spoke and I sighed turning back around.

"Of all nights it could have happened, why tonight?" I asked myself and I could hear glasses clanking.

"Drink" I was ordered and turned just as Aoshi thrust a brandy glass into my hand. I looked at it for a moment before downing it in one and coughing out the strong aroma that swam with it. It was quickly refilled.

"Why did you ask her Kenshin?" I suddenly looked up and frowned unsure of what the question meant.

"What?" I asked and this time I sipped the brandy and felt it slowly ooze inside of me, it was incredibly soothing.

"Why did you ask Kaoru to marry you when you're still married to Tomoe?" Sano asked and Aoshi looked on obviously thinking the same thing.

"I don't love her, its been a while since I've felt anything for her other than feeling like a brother to her" I replied and clenched my fist at the thought of Enishi, Tomoes true brother.

"You swore an oath the day you both married that you would see it through till death do you part, in sickness and in health. Or did I miss hear the part where you agreed on those terms with an 'I do'" Sano seemed to hiss at me and I winced and turned my back on him remembering the pained memories of the day of my wedding, the day Tomoe signed her name away and I gave her mine. The day we gave ourselves to each other and made love. It hurt to think of those memories, they were such happy memories and slowly they had been taken from me. Not by the accident, but of months of hurtful and stressful arguments that grew more aggressive each time. Tomoe began to rely on drinking to calm herself, but even though it numbed the pain, she would lash out in her drunken state and become violent. I never did find out why she would create meaningless arguments over nothing and then drink herself stupid. And I never would find out because before I could even ask of why she was doing this I didn't even realise how much hatred I held towards her. Because of all the sleepless nights and screaming rows that we had during our marriage I slowly began to detest the woman I called my wife, and I only realised I had fallen out of love with her was when the accident occurred. But what killed me the most, and I still feel guilt over, is the thought of my innocent baby having to suffer because of what _she_ put it through.

"You know you can't marry Kaoru" This made me swing around and stare Sano dead in the eye; I glared at him, daring him to say it again.

"You know your beginning to look more like your brother with every passing day" Sano smirked at me and I must have flared because Aoshi stood from where he was sat in the corner.

"Stop this now, its not helping anyone" Aoshi spoke calmly as he looked at both of us.

"Ill go check on Tomoe" Sano seemed to have trouble keeping the harsh tone out of his voice as he left the room giving Kenshin a hard look before he left.

Once he was gone Kenshin found the nearest chair and collapsed onto it with an agonizing sigh holding his face with one hand and his brandy with the other. He assumed he would be left alone to delve in the silence and think for himself, the last thing he expected was to be questioned by Aoshi, who hardly ever spoke to anyone other than Misao.

"Im sorry Kenshin, but he is right" Aoshi pulled a chair near Kenshin and leaned back staring into the fire.

"I don't know what to do" I all but sobbed and bit back the tears that were screaming to be freed.

"I think it would be best if you first explained everything to Kaoru if you are still wanting to marry her" Aoshi advised and I downed the rest of my brandy quickly standing up and refilling it.

"How can I explain something I don't fully understand myself" I choked out as I downed another brandy loving the feeling it gave as it ran down my body.

"Kaoru doesn't know anything, your wife turns up at her home right after you propose to her, can you possibly understand how she is feeling at this moment in time?" Aoshi spoke and I looked at him feeling my heart ache at the thought of my darling Kaoru.

"I have to go" The sudden determination in my voice made Aoshi quickly look up at me.

"To Kaoru?" he asked and I nodded placing the brandy glass on a random table in the room and headed towards the door.

"And Tomoe?" he asked and I stopped in my tracks for a moment before turning to him with a serious look.

"Call my brother" I hissed out at the thought of him.

"Battousai?" Aoshis eyes widened and I left the house without another word.

**Please Review. Sorry it's taken so long but I will continue with this story as I have a lot of ideas for it. Let me know what you think.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin**

I dried my wet cheeks with my kimono sleeve as I took deep breaths to calm myself, but the anguished sobs rang clear in the silent night. I cuddled my legs to my chest as the cold air chilled my body, the little waterfall at the far end of the garden was the only thing that sounded soothing to my ears, and I closed my eyes letting my head rest on my knees.

But my mind was not kind enough to rid the cruel thoughts.

_Is he holding her right now....._

I felt the clamp around my heart tighten.

_Is he soothing her with calm words...._

I lifted my head to stare back out into the garden, and then up at the moon that still smiled down at me.

_Is he stroking her hair as she drifts off to sleep..._

I couldn't help but think such things, I was torturing myself over the unknown. My fiance had left me to comfort his wife, the wife he never divorced, which meant he was not my fiance.

I bit back the tears that once more threatened to spill and I gasped out as the pain racked my body. I had never felt a pain like it, there was nothing I could do to prevent such an emotion and so I relieved my body and let it shake as I felt my heart bleed.

"Kaoru"

I jumped when I heard the tentative voice of Misao and I looked up to see the concern clear on her face. She knelt beside me and I dropped my head in embarrassment, and shame. The silence was uncomfortable.

"I`m sorry Kaoru" Misao`s voice was wobbly and I turned to gaze at her.

"Please don't..." I couldn't allow her to pity me.

Instead she reached out to hold me, at first I had stiffened in surprise, but realising her intent I melted into her comforting embrace and sobbed hard into her shoulder. She rubbed my chest and held me close, I felt stupid and self conscious with opening myself to new feelings.

"Let it all out" she encouraged me and so I did, letting her rock me gently as I poured my heart out.

We stayed like that for a while, and I knew I had cried my last tear. I pulled back and took a deep breath rubbing my face dry once again.

"Thank you" I whispered not trusting my voice to give me away again.

"Promise me Kaoru..." Misao asked, I nodded for her to continue.

"Promise me you wont blame yourself" she pleaded taking my hands into her petite ones, I nodded turning away and standing. I had already begun to blame myself, how could I not, I was crying over someone who wasn't even mine.

Misao stood beside me and bid me goodnight, I swayed on my feet for a moment and reached out for the wood beam holding the roof up. I slowly walked by to my bedroom, closing the door and leaning against it.

"Kaoru"

His soft voice made me jump and my eyes grew wide as I scanned the dark room reaching out to light my room but his hand covered mine pulling me away from the lamp leaving us both in darkness.

He didn't say anything to me as he pulled me close to him, I felt my body stiffen at his touch.

"Kenshin..." I could smell him now, now that his arms clung to me and my head rested against his chest.

"You shouldn't be here" I choked when he didn't answer me, his reply was that he held me closer.

"My place is by your side" he whispered through clenched teeth, the evidence in his voice made my knees go weak. He was hurting just as much as I was, but my body recoiled at the thought of feeling sorry for him.

"Your wife needs you" I pushed away from him with the little strength I had left but he refused to budge and crushed me to him.

"I need you" he sobbed and my knees did give but he held me up, he had always been my rock, my tower of strength to pick me up when I fell but it seemed as though the winds had changed.

"Don't do this to me" my shoulders shuddered as the pain rose again, the heat of distress spreading through my body it was giving me a headache.

"I will not leave you" he mumbled into the crook of my neck.

I tried once more to push away from him and he loosened his grip on me, pulling me away to look at my face. My features crumpled when I saw his glazed eyes and despaired face, he needed to be soothed of this just as much as I did. His thumb gently rubbed a stray tear from my cheek and I sighed at the tender movement.

"We should really talk about this" I forced my lips to stop wobbling, it seemed these new emotions were easily triggered. He shook his head quickly and he closed the gap between us resting his lips on mine. I wanted to step back, to stop him from hurting me further but this was everything I had ever wanted, for him to show me he loved me.

"Not now, not tonight" he spoke as his lips moved against mine.

I felt the blush rise in my face as he crushed his body to mine and my legs gave out, pulling him with me we landed on the futon but his lips never once left mine. I felt my wall crumble as he overwhelmed me with his need for me, I couldn't understand his actions.

I moaned lightly against his lips as he pressed his body closer and ran his fingers through my hair tilting my head gently to get better access to my mouth. My body no longer swelled with pain, it was now overcome with a huge dose of longing, my body needed his touch.

I broke the deep kiss gasping for breath as I gazed into his loving violet eyes, my face flushed as he smiled lightly. No words were needed, our actions were enough to confirm our feelings. His mouth was forceful yet gentle, he nudged my chin with his fingers and when I parted my mouth his lips attacked mine once more. His tongue running along my bottom lip.

I felt dizzy, weighed down by lust, love and all sorts of emotions my body was rushed with, it gave in easily to his touch. Whilst his lips tangled with mine, his fingers began opening my kimono, and I gasped in shock when his cold touch tickled my skin. He stopped my protests by keeping his mouth firmly pressed to mine and he held my arms pinned above my head.

"Kaoru..." he moaned against my lips and I felt myself ease slightly at the sound of his gentle voice.

"Please Kenshin" my voice rasped as he gave my lips a rest and made his way to the hollow of my throat, he stopped suddenly before continuing with his affectionate nibbles along my neck.

"I dont want this" the waver in my voice once again giving me away but I clenched my fists and bit back the sting of tears at the back of my eyes.

"Stop" and that was all it took. He raised his head to meet my watery gaze and he instantly let go rolling off of me to lay by my side.

"I cant do this, not now" my chest heaved with the pain once more "I cant just forget what happened tonight"

He stayed silent hearing me out, but his fingers found mine and he curled our hands together.

"I have dreamt of this moment for so long, but never once had I imagined it to be like this" I lay still struggling with my words as my eyes kept burning with the weight of more tears.

"What had you imagined it to be like?" he asked with no emotion in his voice and I turned my head to look at him, only to find his long bangs covering his face, hiding him.

"A night of bliss, a declaration of love for one another, a moment of heaven" I didn't want to think of my dreams, it upset me with the knowledge of today's activities and secrets revealed they never were going to come true. Kenshin belonged to someone else.

"And you believe it cannot be these things?" he whispered and I barely caught on to what he said.

"How can it possibly be anything but deceit" I frowned at the truth in my words.

"She is not my wife Kaoru" his voice lowered to a dangerous tone but I stood my ground removing my hand from his and sitting up.

"Then show me the divorce papers" I growled feeling anger rise in me, I refused to look at him.

"If I was to suddenly end up with the same illness Tomoe has been punished with, would you leave me?" his voice was cold and I froze, letting his words sink in.

He moved beside me, lifting himself up off the futon so we sat very close. I didn't move as I thought his words through. I could never leave him.

His warm hands found my face and he secured me with his kind gaze once more.

"You don't need to answer that" he whispered as he kissed my forehead and pulled me into his embrace.

But I wanted to, I wanted to voice how I felt and that I truly would never leave his side. But it was hard to express with the realisation of what they would mean, it would automatically be an acceptance to why Kenshin had never left his wife's side. I never wanted to accept it.

"Stay with me Kenshin" I muttered pathetically, leaning into his body as I felt my body sag with exhaustion. The nights events had been too much for me.

"Let us sleep" and with that he pulled me down with him and cuddled me to his body as he covered us both with the covers.

*

I woke to soothing sound of the birds chirping and the waterfall running in the garden. I yawned and felt my eyes drift closed, my body demanding more lush sleep but a soft snore alerted me that I wasn't alone. I opened my eyes and took in the sleeping man beside me, still far away in his dreams. I had never in my life shared my bed with another, and then everything came back to me. Everything that had happened yesterday was like a shadow, it loomed over me and made me feel sick. I wasn't looking forward to today when serious discuss would have to take place, I was a coward and I knew it but I wanted to run away from all this hurt and hide.

I slowly removed myself from his arms and slipped out silently from the room thankful that I hadnt woken him. I made my way to the kitchen to get a start on breakfast but I froze when my hand hovered above the handle. This is when I had heard them, his wife shouting abuse and he being as calm as ever. I wonder what she had smashed.

I took a deep breath and entered, the kitchen looked the same but both their presence lingered, just knowing they had both stood in here made me shiver. Was this how it was going to be from now on every time I entered my kitchen.

"Good morning your up early" Misao smiled lightly at me and I knew she was being cautious. I sighed to myself utterly ashamed of my actions last night, no one should be burdened with my upset.

"I thought I would get breakfast prepared" I turned away taking pans from a cupboard.

"Would you like some help?" she asked hesitantly.

"No thank you" was all I gave as I started beating the eggs.

"I`ll set the table" she smiled at me and I gave a quick nod.

I was thankful when she left me to my thoughts, her attitude and approach towards me worried me. Is that how everyone was to react now the truth was known, was I to be treated as the second women. I knew for certain how everyone was going to behave around me, they would feel sorry for me and be cautious of voiced thoughts or movement, from now on everyone was going to be walking on egg shells for my benefit. I gripped the whisk and beat harder. I didn't want any of it, I wanted things to go back to how they had been before _she_ had entered our lives. But I knew the damage was unrepairable now.

"Kaoru" his voice alerted me and I nearly dropped the eggs. He stood in the doorway just as Misao had done moments ago.

"Breakfast wont be long" I turned away from him emptying the contents into the frying pan.

"May I help you with anything?" he was close behind me now and I cursed myself for how my body reacted to his nearness.

"Its almost finished" I wanted him to understand by the tone of my voice and the dead end answers I was giving that I just wanted to be left alone.

"I`ll prepare the tea" he spoke out taking down the cups and the tea pot.

We worked in silence, our bodies keeping a distance as we got on with our tasks. He finished quickly carrying the tray to the dining room were I wasn't sure if Misao sat waiting. I chopped a few mushrooms and grated some cheese throwing them onto the omelette.

Once done I wasn't sure if I could stomach food or company right now. I was feeling sick at the thought of anymore awkward meetings and conversations. I entered the dining room to find Misao, Megumi, Sano and Kenshin all sat waiting patiently. My stomach dropped to the floor, the atmosphere was a punch in the stomach. I gently placed the pan of food into the middle of the table and bowed lightly.

"Enjoy" I mumbled and decided it would be best to leave, I needed sanctuary.

"Will you not be joining us?" it was Megumi and I didn't turn to face anyone, I just shook my head and left.

I made my way to the dojo, I needed to release whatever emotion held my mind captive.

I entered the dojo and nearly collapsed with the familiar scent of him. He was everywhere in this room, the smell of him lingered in the air and my heart ached. I raised a hand to my chest in an attempt to sooth it in a way but new it was helpless. I quickly left the dojo and made my way to the garden, I sat next to the small waterfall and found the running water to be very therapeutic, this was what I needed. Peace.

"Kaoru" I gritted my teeth at the sound of my name once more, I was getting sick of people approaching me with uncertainty.

"Megumi" I mumbled quietly. She sat next to me and we sat in silence, I was waiting for what she had to say but I already knew what she was wanting to discuss.

"As a doctor I will begin to become very concerned for your well being if you continue to burden this alone" she spoke with an air of professionalism.

"This is my burden" I turned to her with sagged shoulders.

"We are all here to help you Kaoru, do not torment yourself alone" she was looking into the pond of water gathered by the waterfall.

"I feel incredibly foolish, and I don't know who to turn to" my lips shuddered as I felt my eyes weigh down with unshed tears.

"There is alot of conflict in Kenshin`s life that not even I understand" she threw her arm around my shoulders and pulled me to her in an act of kindness and support, the same as Misao had shown the night before.

"He never tells me anything, he is so protective of his past" I confessed.

"I don't think he can avoid his past now that it is chasing after him" Megumi snorted and I raised an eyebrow.

"As much as I want to tell you, I think it would be better if Kenshin told you more, its not my place" she nodded and stared back into the water.

"I cant even look at him right now" my body was beginning to feel numb, I was feeling like an outsider in my own home. So many secrets.

The bell to the yard rang loudly and we both looked up in surprise, I jumped to my feet and hurried to answer the gate before they left, Megumi followed slowly behind.

I opened the gate to find Kenshin stood there, my eyes opened wide as I stared in disbelief. He smirked at me looking me up and down, I was too stunned to blush. This was definitely not Kenshin.

"Battousai!?" Megumi gasped as she caught up behind me, spotting the black clad figure in the gateway.

_**To be continued....**_

**Sorry its taken so long to get this chapter up, no excuses really I`ve just been slacking it, I`ll make sure the next chapters up as soon as! **

**Thank you - **

**half-breed-demon-fox - **_I sincerely apologise, to be honest I lost all interest in this story but yesterday I read all my reviews for it and it really pushed me to continue writing._

**alwyzme - **_Ive finally figured out a plot for this story and you've helped alot so thank you, your questions and ideas really help me understand my own story more. Its all still rather confusing to understand but I`m trying to slowly reveal bits of things so you get the full impact. The brothers are major characters in this story but I'm not sure whether to bring Enishi into it or not. I don't like Tomoe much so its not surprising I've wrote her out to be a b*tch. I got the true inspiration of this story from a programme I watched about a man who was ran over and his wife had to look after him and she eventually left him, then he regained memories slowly and began becoming the husband instead of the child. It was very tear jerking and awe inspiring. The reason Tomoe began drinking will be revealed in future chapters. I really enjoy reading your reviews, it makes me feel that there is someone else out there who understands my story just as much as myself. :D Thank you_

**Sakura Kaoru-Chan - **_Hope you like it!_

**Sublime Angel - **_Let me know what you think, cheers for the review!_

**miniwoo - **_As you can probably tell I do like Battousai and Kenshin being brothers in my stories :) And Ive changed it to a K/B but you`ll have to wait for future chapters to find out how that blossoms. Hugs to you for being such a supportive reviewer._

**blossompetals - **_Hope you like it!_

**BnK - **_I definitely wont give up on it, Ive got rid of the writers block and I am hoping to get this story completed as soon as! My mind is running wild with ideas at the moment haha._

**icyblossom3 - **_Yep they are separated, and they are brothers. Let me know what you think, cheers._

**animebdoll - **_There will be more Battousai in the next chapter I promise, and things will begin to get very juicy mwuahaha :D_


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